1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,960
What's happening, cornflake head?

2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,960
'Ey, we need to be mates again,
you know.

3
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,160
I've had to turn to drugs
to cope without ya.

4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,000
<c.yellow>Not funny.</c>

5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,160
<c.cyan>I can't believe</c>
<c.cyan>you got me up early for this.</c>

6
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,960
Oh, just a little bit dirty.
Oh, just...

7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,480
Just a little bit more there.

8
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,320
<c.cyan>Argh!</c>
Keep pushing.

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,960
<c.cyan>I can't.</c>
Go on, one more.

10
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,960
One more, come on push.

11
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,960
<c.cyan>Look, look at him. He's a baby boy.</c>

12
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:42,960
Congratulations.

13
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,800
You cheatin' prick.
<c.green>A son. A son! </c>Congratulations.

14
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,960
HE LAUGHS

15
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,960
<c.yellow>Fancy some FIFA after school later?</c>

16
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,960
<c.yellow>I just need to hide a few things</c>
<c.yellow>first so you can't steal them.</c>

17
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,960
Lad, I already explained
what happened. <c.yellow>I'm joking.</c>

18
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,960
<c.yellow>Can you bring one of</c>
<c.yellow>your controllers, too, though?</c>

19
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,640
<c.yellow>I've lost one of mine.</c>
That's cos I stole it from ya room.

20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,960
THEY LAUGH

21
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,960
HE SPEAKS ARABIC

22
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,960
Didn't you pay for his lunches
last week?

23
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960
<c.yellow>Oh, he's still having problems</c>

24
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960
<c.yellow>getting the right ID</c>
<c.yellow>for a bank account.</c>

25
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,960
I don't wanna scare you, girl,

26
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,960
but you read about things like this
all the time.

27
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,640
Foreign men scamming women
for money.

28
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,960
<c.yellow>What are you on about, girl?</c>

29
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:41,160
Like me nan, who met that Adama
fella from Gambia on Facebook.

30
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,960
He moved here, they got married,

31
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,960
and then he divorced her so he could
take half of her life savings.

32
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,960
<c.yellow>I mean, no offence to ya nan, girl,</c>
<c.yellow>but she was like 74, and he was 25.</c>

33
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,000
<c.yellow>It was pretty obvious</c>
<c.yellow>he wasn't with her</c>

34
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,960
<c.yellow>for her saggy tits and pancake arse.</c>

35
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,960
<c.yellow>May she rest in peace.</c>

36
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,960
Are you sure you can trust him?

37
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,800
He lied to you
about speaking English.

38
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:01,960
<c.yellow>Oh, my God, girl, are you jealous?</c>

39
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,160
No, you were the one saying

40
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,800
it's weird
you haven't been to his house yet.

41
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,960
<c.yellow>Yeah, well, yesterday,</c>
<c.yellow>he had me waiting on the corner,</c>

42
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,960
<c.yellow>and I could definitely just about</c>
<c.yellow>work out which house was his.</c>

43
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,320
<c.yellow>So there.</c>
Why was he making you

44
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,800
wait on the corner?

45
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,960
<c.yellow>Well, you're one to talk,</c>
<c.yellow>chasin' after that posh bellend.</c>

46
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,960
As if. <c.yellow>I mean, it's getting</c>
<c.yellow>a bit embarrasin', to be honest.</c>

47
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,960
<c.yellow>He's not interested</c>
<c.yellow>in girls like you,</c>

48
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:23,960
<c.yellow>but he doesn't wanna tell you</c>

49
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,960
<c.yellow>because he doesn't wanna look</c>
<c.yellow>like a snob.</c>

50
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,640
Go away, you divvy.
<c.yellow>Oh, don't worry girl. I'm going.</c>

51
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,640
<c.yellow>You see, I've actually got</c>
<c.yellow>a meetin' with Netflix.</c>

52
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,960
<c.yellow>Yeah, they wanna do a documentary</c>
<c.yellow>on Ziad, The Libyan Swindler,</c>

53
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,960
<c.yellow>about how he manipulated a stupid,</c>
<c.yellow>naive girl from Liverpool...</c>

54
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,320
<c.yellow>for a fiver.</c>

55
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,000
Oh, Nice 'n' Spicy
just edge it for me.

56
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,960
Aww, lad, if you're a Rib 'n' Saucy
type of guy, it's OK.

57
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,960
They're both
two absolute heavyweights.

58
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,960
<c.yellow>My mum's just emailed me.</c>

59
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,960
Oh, no. Have you lost the plot

60
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,960
cos I haven't been around
to keep you sane?

61
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,000
<c.yellow>Before she died, she must have</c>
<c.yellow>scheduled emails for me.</c>

62
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,320
What does it say?

63
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:21,160
<c.yellow>"Hiya, son. Cancer must have got me</c>
<c.yellow>by now. Or did it?</c>

64
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,960
<c.yellow>"Maybe I faked my death</c>

65
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,960
<c.yellow>"and now live off-the-grid</c>
<c.yellow>in Alaska with an impressive beard."</c>

66
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,960
<c.yellow>She had a weird sense of humour.</c>
I love it, lad.

67
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,960
<c.yellow>"I know your dad's birthday</c>
<c.yellow>was always a tough day for us.</c>

68
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,960
<c.yellow>"So I wanna remind you</c>
<c.yellow>of the poem we wrote for him.</c>

69
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:44,960
<c.yellow>"The image is fading</c>
<c.yellow>of what it was like...</c>

70
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,960
<c.yellow>"when you would hold me</c>
<c.yellow>incredibly tight.</c>

71
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,800
<c.yellow>"But I'll give never forget</c>
<c.yellow>the feeling you gave...</c>

72
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,960
<c.yellow>"..the feeling that</c>
<c.yellow>everything was all right."</c>

73
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,960
"I'll keep going
like you're by my side.

74
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,960
"So, when I see you again,
and you ask me how it went,

75
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,480
"I'll tell you it was fun,
and I achieved everything I dreamt.

76
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,960
"Love you, my son.
Hope those words are coming true."

77
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,160
<c.yellow>Thanks for taking over.</c>

78
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,960
<c.yellow>But did you have to do it</c>
<c.yellow>with a mouth full of Nik Naks?</c>

79
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,960
THEY LAUGH

80
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,960
<c.yellow>Do you know where your dad lives?</c>
I dunno, I've never met him.

81
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,480
<c.yellow>Do you wanna meet him?</c>

82
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,960
No, I'm not arsed.
I did as a kid, though.

83
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,960
<c.yellow>You can still make some memories</c>
<c.yellow>with your dad.</c>

84
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,160
<c.yellow>I'd do anything to make some more</c>
<c.yellow>with mine...</c>

85
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,800
<c.yellow>even for one day, one hour,</c>
<c.yellow>one minute.</c>

86
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,960
I wonder what your da's favourite
Nik Naks were.

87
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,960
<c.yellow>I have a fading memory</c>
<c.yellow>of him eating Rib 'n' Saucy.</c>

88
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,960
THEY LAUGH

89
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,960
Come 'ead, lad.

90
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,960
<c.cyan>Where the fuck's all this coming</c>
<c.cyan>from, Reece?</c>

91
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,160
<c.cyan>Do you think I've done a bad job?</c>
No, Mum, you've been amazing.

92
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,960
It's just
I was speaking to Christopher,

93
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,960
and he wrote this poem to his dad,
before he died,

94
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,960
and... just gets ya thinking,
doesn't it?

95
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,160
<c.cyan>So what? We can write a poem</c>
<c.cyan>to your dad if you want.</c>

96
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,960
<c.cyan>Er... 'I know this poem's come</c>
<c.cyan>out of the blue,</c>

97
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,960
<c.cyan>'but we've never needed ya,</c>
<c.cyan>so fuck you.'</c>

98
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,640
<c.cyan>See? Easy.</c>
Beautiful, Mum.

99
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,960
<c.cyan>Ever since you were born, all</c>
<c.cyan>I've done is try and make you happy.</c>

100
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,960
<c.cyan>And now I feel like you're tellin'</c>
<c.cyan>me I haven't done enough.</c>

101
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,320
No, Mum, that's not true at all.
You have been enough.

102
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,960
I am happy. I am.

103
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,960
Sorry, Mum.
I didn't mean to upset ya.

104
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,160
<c.cyan>Are you sure you're ready for this,</c>
<c.cyan>Reece?</c>

105
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,960
Yeah, Mum.

106
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,960
Suppose I've always just pushed it
away.

107
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,960
But it's always been
in the back of me head.

108
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:13,800
Like, "Who is this fella
who's 50% of who I am?" <c.cyan>OK.</c>

109
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,000
<c.cyan>Well, I'm not ready.</c>

110
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,640
<c.cyan>But if you are,</c>
<c.cyan>then I suppose I need to be.</c>

111
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,960
<c.cyan>Your dad's name's Darren.</c>

112
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,960
<c.cyan>Disneyland Darren.</c>
Wha'?

113
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,960
<c.cyan>I know. Look, his mate said it was</c>
<c.cyan>cos he was always goin' on about</c>

114
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,960
<c.cyan>this trip he took to Disneyland.</c>

115
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,960
<c.cyan>Even when we were having sex,</c>
<c.cyan>he kept going on about</c>

116
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,800
<c.cyan>how it reminded him</c>
<c.cyan>of going down Splash Mountain.</c>

117
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,960
Mum!
<c.cyan>I know. I know.</c>

118
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,960
<c.cyan>It was a one night stand, son.</c>

119
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,960
<c.cyan>After I found out I was pregnant,</c>
<c.cyan>I tried to find him.</c>

120
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,480
<c.cyan>I swear, I did,</c>
<c.cyan>but... he's not from round here.</c>

121
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,960
<c.cyan>He's from Manchester.</c>
<c.cyan>I'm sorry! I know!</c>

122
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,480
<c.cyan>I know!</c>
<c.cyan>Oh, I tried me best to find him.</c>

123
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,960
So, he doesn't know about me?
<c.cyan>No, son.</c>

124
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,960
<c.cyan>Once I realised</c>
<c.cyan>I couldn't find him,</c>

125
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,000
<c.cyan>I knew I had to just focus on you.</c>

126
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:18,960
<c.cyan>And the day you were born...</c>
<c.cyan>I promised ya...</c>

127
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,960
<c.cyan>that I'd be</c>
<c.cyan>twice the mum that you deserved,</c>

128
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,960
<c.cyan>to make up for the fact</c>
<c.cyan>that ye never had your dad.</c>

129
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960
And ye have been, Mum.

130
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,960
Come here. Come on.

131
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,960
I love you.
<c.cyan>I love you, too.</c>

132
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,960
<c.cyan>Ooh, I love you so much.</c>
<c.cyan>Me little gobshite.</c>

133
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:51,960
Hiya, what are you up to?

134
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,960
<c.yellow>Oh, I'm working</c>
<c.yellow>on a history project with Ruby.</c>

135
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,960
<c.cyan>Hey, did you hear about me dad's</c>
<c.cyan>acca comin' in at the weekend?</c>

136
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,480
<c.cyan>He won 2,000 quid.</c>
<c.yellow>It's crazy, eh?</c>

137
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,960
Why'd you pick Ruby to be
your partner?

138
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,960
<c.yellow>She sits by me in the class.</c>

139
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,960
Oh, my God. Has he asked you
to marry him? <c.cyan>You wha'?</c>

140
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,640
You haven't given him
your bank details, have ye?

141
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,800
Oh, I'm sure
she'll use the winnings to buy you

142
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:14,960
lunches and the PS5 you want.

143
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:19,960
Oh, and your dad defo could have won
more. He cashed out, the pussy.

144
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,960
He choked.
PSG were obvs gonna score.

145
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,320
He's all yours!
<c.yellow>Come on, Mia.</c>

146
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,960
Nice one for findin' him, lad,
the Disneyland discussion forums.

147
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,960
You're a genius. This is it?

148
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
<c.yellow>Well, let's not judge him</c>
<c.yellow>on where he lives.</c>

149
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,960
<c.yellow>He could still be</c>
<c.yellow>a really respectable guy.</c>

150
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,960
<c.cyan>Which one of you is Reece?</c>

151
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,960
HE SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY

152
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960
<c.cyan>You're home.</c>

153
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,960
<c.cyan>Hey, do you know what's strange,</c>
<c.cyan>son?</c>

154
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,960
<c.cyan>I've been havin' a lot of thoughts</c>
<c.cyan>about your mum recently.</c>

155
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,800
<c.cyan>So, it's like a higher power's</c>
<c.cyan>trying to tell me summat.</c>

156
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,000
<c.cyan>A lot of those thoughts</c>
<c.cyan>was reaching into the wank bank.</c>

157
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,960
<c.cyan>But still...</c>
<c.cyan>I know it don't look like much, son.</c>

158
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,960
<c.cyan>But I've not been able to work</c>
<c.cyan>because of me disability.</c>

159
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,960
<c.cyan>I have a severely stubbed toe,</c>

160
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,960
<c.cyan>and the pain... radiates</c>
<c.cyan>through me legs.</c>

161
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,960
<c.cyan>But don't worry because I've got</c>
<c.cyan>big, big money coming my way.</c>

162
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,960
Oh, yeah?
<c.cyan>Oh, yeah.</c>

163
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,960
<c.cyan>I'm always applying</c>
<c.cyan>to Pointless, Millionaire.</c>

164
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,960
<c.cyan>It's only a matter of time</c>
<c.cyan>before I win big.</c>

165
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,960
<c.cyan>I made it onto The Chase once, son.</c>
Really? How'd ye do?

166
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,160
<c.cyan>Well, I took the lower offer,</c>
<c.cyan>and I still got knocked out,</c>

167
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,960
<c.cyan>but I was very unlucky</c>
<c.cyan>with the questions.</c>

168
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,960
<c.cyan>Currently doing another application</c>
<c.cyan>for Pointless now, as we speak.</c>

169
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,960
<c.cyan>Oh, my God!</c>

170
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,320
<c.cyan>We should do one together</c>
<c.cyan>as a father-and-son team!</c>

171
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,960
I'm all right, to be honest.

172
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:13,640
<c.cyan>Fuckin' hell,</c>
<c.cyan>me own son fuckin' hates me.</c>

173
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,960
<c.yellow>Hey, he doesn't hate you.</c>

174
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,960
<c.yellow>He just needs a bit of time</c>
<c.yellow>to get to know you.</c>

175
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,960
<c.cyan>Oh, yeah... time.</c>

176
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,960
<c.cyan>And time's what we have got, son.</c>
<c.cyan>Nothing but time.</c>

177
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:29,960
<c.cyan>And I'm gonna spend every single day</c>

178
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,960
<c.cyan>making up for the time</c>
<c.cyan>that we've lost.</c>

179
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:36,000
<c.cyan>Every... single... day.</c>

180
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,960
<c.cyan>Just you... and me... together.</c>

181
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,800
I'm gonna get off.
It-It was nice to meet you.

182
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,960
<c.cyan>Oh, really? Hey,</c>
<c.cyan>do you wanna go go-karting tomorrow?</c>

183
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,960
<c.cyan>I can take you swimming.</c>
<c.yellow>Wait, that's it? You're going?</c>

184
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,320
See the state of him?
16 years for him?

185
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,960
I'd rather not know where
I came from, if I came from that.

186
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:56,960
<c.yellow>I need the toilet before we go.</c>

187
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,960
Oh, hurry up, before he asks me
to play catch or something.

188
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,960
<c.cyan>Hey, son,</c>
<c.cyan>do you know how to ride a bike?</c>

189
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:03,960
<c.cyan>Because I could teach you.</c>

190
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,000
I'll wait outside, lad.

191
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,960
THEY LAUGH
Hey.

192
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,960
Do you wanna come to me mum's
birthday meal tomorrow night?

193
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:20,960
She really wants to meet you,

194
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,960
and we've got
an extra seat at the table

195
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,960
as a certain SOMEONE isn't invited.
<c.cyan>Er... s-sure.</c>

196
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,960
<c.yellow>Last night, I was looking online,</c>

197
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,960
<c.yellow>and I found a local support group</c>
<c.yellow>for family members of MS sufferers.</c>

198
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,960
<c.yellow>There's one tomorrow night,</c>
<c.yellow>actually.</c>

199
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,960
<c.green>What an incredibly thoughtful</c>
<c.green>gesture, Christopher.</c>

200
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,960
<c.green>It's great that me mental well-being</c>
<c.green>is clearly your top priority.</c>

201
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,960
Great, so you meet my parents,

202
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,960
and then after,
I'll go your house and meet yours.

203
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,960
It'll be great.
<c.cyan>Erm, sure.</c>

204
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,960
Friday night at Ziad's house.
No waiting on the corner.

205
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:49,960
<c.yellow>I know it sounds daunting,</c>

206
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960
<c.yellow>but I could come with you,</c>
<c.yellow>if that's OK?</c>

207
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,960
<c.green>Thanks, Christopher. I'd love to go</c>
<c.green>there tomorrow... together.</c>

208
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,960
<c.cyan>So, actually, er, Mia-Louise,</c>
<c.cyan>I finally opened the bank account.</c>

209
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,960
<c.cyan>So I have the money</c>
<c.cyan>that I owe you for the lunches.</c>

210
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,160
Ziad, you don't have to give me
the money back,

211
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,960
but what a wonderful sign of trust
that you have done.

212
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,480
MUSIC: 'Wet Dream'
by Wet Leg

213
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,960
<c.yellow>
<c.green>Beam me up</c>

214
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,960
<c.yellow>
<c.green>Count me in</c>

215
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,960
<c.yellow>
<c.green>Three, two, one</c>

216
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:15,960
<c.yellow>

217
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,960
SHAKY SINGING:
<c.cyan>

218
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,960
<c.cyan>

219
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,960
<c.cyan>
<c.cyan>It's not your fault...

220
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,800
PUPIL: <c.yellow>What the fuck's that?</c>
PUPIL: <c.green>Nonce alert.</c>

221
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,640
<c.cyan>

222
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,960
What ya doing here?
PUPIL: <c.yellow>God, is that Reece's da?</c>

223
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,960
<c.cyan>No... No... No.</c>
PUPIL: <c.green>Check his hard drive.</c>

224
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,960
<c.cyan>No, it's a song about a father</c>

225
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,960
<c.cyan>offering up his life experience</c>
<c.cyan>for his son.</c>

226
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960
<c.cyan>Which is what I'm gonna do for you.</c>
Just get out, will ya?

227
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960
CLASS LAUGHS AND JEERS

228
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:45,960
<c.cyan>I've got a surprise for you.</c>

229
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,960
CLASS LAUGHS
PUPIL: <c.yellow>The fringe on it.</c>

230
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,960
<c.cyan>I've got one for you an' all.</c>

231
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,480
JEERING LAUGHTER

232
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,960
<c.cyan>For when I win it big</c>
<c.cyan>on me quiz shows.</c>

233
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,960
PUPIL: <c.green>Sir, have you met Reece's da?</c>

234
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,960
TEACHER: <c.yellow>Step away from the kids...</c>
<c.yellow>now.</c>

235
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,960
<c.cyan>Don't worry about it.</c>
<c.cyan>So, wha'? It changes nothing.</c>

236
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,960
BOY: <c.green>Hm... </c><c.cyan>Nothing.</c>
<c.green>Chin up, lad.</c>

237
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,960
THEY LAUGH

238
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,960
<c.cyan>Nah, I can't do it.</c>
<c.cyan>That's your dad in there.</c>

239
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,480
<c.yellow>Your life is ruined.</c>

240
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,960
<c.green>I'm questioning your whole identity.</c>
Shut up!

241
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,960
<c.yellow>Reece,</c>
<c.yellow>Disneyland Darren's not your dad.</c>

242
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:32,960
If only, lad.

243
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:33,960
<c.yellow>No, when we were there,</c>

244
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,960
<c.yellow>I went to bathroom</c>
<c.yellow>so I could get a hair sample.</c>

245
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,480
<c.yellow>I ordered a DNA test,</c>
<c.yellow>and I just got the results.</c>

246
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,960
<c.yellow>He's not your dad.</c>
You're serious? He's not me dad?

247
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,960
You did that for me, lad? Nice one.
But, erm...

248
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,640
..how did you get
me hair sample, though?

249
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,960
<c.yellow>My bin still had your pubes in it</c>

250
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,960
<c.yellow>from when you thought it was funny</c>
<c.yellow>to keep leaving them on my pillow.</c>

251
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,960
THEY LAUGH

252
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:57,960
<c.yellow>I can't believe it, son.</c>

253
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,320
<c.yellow>I was convinced</c>
<c.yellow>he was your dad cos...</c>

254
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,480
Cos what, mum?

255
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,960
<c.yellow>Cos...</c>
<c.yellow>when I slept with someone else</c>

256
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,640
<c.yellow>the next weekend,</c>
<c.yellow>we used protection.</c>

257
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,480
Oh, my God.
<c.yellow>Don't look at me like that!</c>

258
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,320
<c.yellow>Me nan had just died.</c>

259
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,800
<c.yellow>I was bladdered for three months,</c>
<c.yellow>out looking for distractions.</c>

260
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:18,960
<c.yellow>Which is why I admire you so much,</c>
<c.yellow>just processing all the emotions.</c>

261
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:19,960
So, who is he, then?

262
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,960
And please don't say
Universal Studios Steve.

263
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,480
<c.yellow>I didn't get his real name.</c>

264
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,960
<c.yellow>He went by Mr 997.</c>
<c.yellow>I met him in the Farmer's Arms.</c>

265
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960
<c.yellow>Afterwards, I moved away.</c>

266
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,960
<c.yellow>I didn't get his phone number,</c>
<c.yellow>and... I never saw him again.</c>

267
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:37,960
<c.yellow>I'm sorry, son.</c>

268
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,640
<c.cyan>Fucking hell... Fucking hell.</c>

269
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,960
<c.cyan>Even DNA fucking hates me.</c>

270
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960
<c.cyan>I'm absolutely devastated, son.</c>

271
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,960
<c.cyan>Brought this with me</c>
<c.cyan>so we could build it today.</c>

272
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,960
<c.cyan>Never gonna get the chance now,</c>
<c.cyan>am I?</c>

273
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,960
<c.cyan>You know, I bet</c>
<c.cyan>your dad's that bean head fella,</c>

274
00:14:58,960 --> 00:14:59,960
<c.cyan>the lucky bastard.</c>

275
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,960
What fella?
<c.yellow>Mr 997? </c><c.cyan>Well...</c>

276
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,960
<c.cyan>..the next weekend,</c>
<c.cyan>I went back to your mum's house</c>

277
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,000
<c.cyan>with some flowers cos...</c>

278
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,960
<c.cyan>..I was smitten, lads.</c>

279
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,160
<c.cyan>Anyway, I rang the doorbell,</c>
<c.cyan>and there was no answer.</c>

280
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,960
<c.cyan>So then I look through the window,</c>
<c.cyan>and that's when I see</c>

281
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,960
<c.cyan>this hook-nosed fella</c>
<c.cyan>with a massive bean head,</c>

282
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,960
<c.cyan>shaggin' your mum on the couch.</c>

283
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,960
<c.cyan>It was gutting!</c>
<c.cyan>You know, I saw him years later.</c>

284
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,800
<c.cyan>I was in Liverpool,</c>
<c.cyan>and I saw his face on a poster.</c>

285
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,960
<c.cyan>He was giving a talk</c>
<c.cyan>on one of his books.</c>

286
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,160
<c.cyan>I tell you what, lads,</c>
<c.cyan>you never forget a cum face.</c>

287
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,480
He's a writer? <c.yellow>Do you remember</c>
<c.yellow>the name of the book?</c>

288
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,480
<c.cyan>Nah, I was smashed off my tits.</c>

289
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,960
<c.cyan>But I think it was something weird</c>

290
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,960
<c.cyan>about looking</c>
<c.cyan>through doors or windows</c>

291
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:40,960
<c.cyan>because I remember thinking...</c>

292
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,960
<c.cyan>"Has he written a book</c>
<c.cyan>all these years later</c>

293
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,960
<c.cyan>"about me seeing his cum face?"</c>

294
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,960
<c.green>
<c.green>What you've become</c>

295
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,960
<c.green>

296
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,800
<c.green>

297
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,960
<c.green>

298
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960
CONTINUES ON SPEAKER:
<c.green>

299
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,960
<c.green>

300
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,960
<c.green>

301
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,960
<c.green>
<c.green>And the static stays</c>

302
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,960
<c.green>

303
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,960
ECHOING: <c.cyan>'He was giving a talk</c>
<c.cyan>on one of his books.</c>

304
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,800
<c.cyan>'I think it was something weird</c>

305
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,960
<c.cyan>'about looking through doors</c>
<c.cyan>or a window.</c>

306
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,960
<c.cyan>'Has he written a book</c>
<c.cyan>all these years later,</c>

307
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,480
<c.cyan>'about me seeing his cum face?'</c>

308
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,960
<c.yellow>'Do you remember</c>
<c.yellow>the name of the book?'</c>

309
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,960
<c.cyan>'No, I was smashed off my tits.</c>

310
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,640
<c.cyan>'Hook-nosed fella</c>
<c.cyan>with a massive bean head,</c>

311
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,320
<c.cyan>'shaggin' your mum on the couch...</c>
<c.cyan>bean head... bean head.</c>

312
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,960
<c.cyan>'You never forget a cum face.'</c>
He MOANS

313
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,960
<c.cyan>'The lucky bastard.'</c>
HE MOANS

314
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,960
<c.yellow>Mr 997!</c>
I found his address!

315
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,960
Oh, my God. Look at this place.

316
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,960
I just wanna say
thanks for all your help.

317
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,960
And you know
you said about going down to Surrey

318
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,960
to see your dad's grave?

319
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,960
I'll come with ya.

320
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,960
We'll make a day out of it,
pull some posh birds.

321
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960
CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS
<c.yellow>Yeah, let's do it.</c>

322
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,320
PHONE DINGS

323
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,960
Whoa, look at the size
of this place!

324
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,960
You're me dad.

325
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:34,960
<c.yellow>Look at his awards.</c>

326
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,960
<c.green>That was</c>
<c.green>my first-ever published book.</c>

327
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,000
<c.green>It's a research study into NDEs.</c>

328
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,960
Near death experiences?
Common, aren't they?

329
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,960
Like, 20% of people
who come close to death have them.

330
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,960
<c.green>That's exactly right, and people</c>
<c.green>don't realise how common they are.</c>

331
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,960
<c.green>And please,</c>
<c.green>help yourself to Caramel Hobnobs,</c>

332
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,960
<c.green>my favourite biscuit to dunk.</c>

333
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,960
<c.green>The... The caramel</c>
<c.green>acts as a strengthener</c>

334
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,960
<c.green>so it doesn't break, ensuring a...</c>

335
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,960
BOTH: <c.cyan>..sufficiently saturated</c>
<c.cyan>biscuit.</c>

336
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,960
<c.green>Oh, my God, it's extraordinary.</c>
WHISPERING: What's he doing here?

337
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,960
<c.green>It's extraordinary.</c>
Fuck off! Fuck off!

338
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,960
<c.green>So... how's your mother?</c>
Go away!

339
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,960
Yeah, she's good, yeah.
<c.green>Is she still debating?</c>

340
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,480
<c.yellow>What do you mean, debating?</c>

341
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,480
<c.green>She was captain of the opposing</c>
<c.green>debate team. That's how we met.</c>

342
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,960
<c.green>Camilla's arguments to why</c>
<c.green>water-heavy agricultural systems</c>

343
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,000
<c.green>should be illegal</c>
<c.green>really... blew me away.</c>

344
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,960
BOTH: <c.yellow>Camilla?</c>
DARREN: <c.cyan>No!</c>

345
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,480
<c.cyan>We're talking about Jodie.</c>
<c.cyan>Don't you remember?</c>

346
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,960
Who are you?
<c.cyan>You were shagging Jodie from behind.</c>

347
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,960
<c.cyan>And I was in the window</c>
<c.cyan>when I saw you cum.</c>

348
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,160
<c.cyan>What is it about us and windows,</c>
<c.cyan>eh? We're at it again.</c>

349
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,960
<c.green>So you're not Camilla's boy?</c>

350
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,960
<c.cyan>Hey, did you and Jodie ever do</c>
<c.cyan>that position</c>

351
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,960
<c.cyan>where she put her legs like that...?</c>

352
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,960
Do one, will ya!
<c.cyan>All right.</c>

353
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,960
<c.green>You're sick. Get out!</c>

354
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,960
<c.yellow>So you didn't sleep with Jodie</c>
<c.yellow>17 years ago?</c>

355
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,320
<c.yellow>You met her</c>
<c.yellow>at the Farmer's Arms pub?</c>

356
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,960
<c.green>No, I don't know any Jodie.</c>
<c.green>Get out before I call the police.</c>

357
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,960
<c.green>Come on. Get out. Move!</c>
Just wait. Hang on.

358
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,960
<c.cyan>Your angry face looks</c>
<c.cyan>like your cum face, to be honest.</c>

359
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,640
<c.green>The three of ya,</c>
<c.green>get off my property!</c>

360
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,160
Look, no, we didn't mean to...
<c.green>Get out!</c>

361
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,960
What are you doin' here?
<c.cyan>I've been following you, son.</c>

362
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,320
<c.cyan>It's my duty to look out for you.</c>

363
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,960
<c.cyan>Guardian... protector... father.</c>
You're not me dad!

364
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
HE EXHALES SHAKILY

365
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960
<c.cyan>Sorry,</c>
<c.cyan>it's still really tough to hear.</c>

366
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,960
And that's obviously not the fella,
is it?

367
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,960
Do you know, for a second,
I thought I'd found the reason

368
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,960
why I've always felt
like the black sheep of me family.

369
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,960
I finally felt a sense of...

370
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:38,960
..belonging.

371
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,480
But it wasn't real.

372
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,960
AIMEE: <c.cyan>Just don't embarrass me, OK?</c>

373
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,320
When do I ever embarrass you,
love, eh?

374
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,960


375
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,320
Hello!


376
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,960
HE CHUCKLES

377
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,800
I'm only joking with you.

378
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,960
Look, it'll be really nice
to meet him.

379
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,000
Seems all right...
for a southern knobhead. <c.cyan>Hey!</c>

380
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,960
<c.green>
<c.green>Fall into your arms</c>

381
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,960
<c.green>
<c.green>Like the way we used to be</c>

382
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,480
<c.green>

383
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,960
<c.green>
KNOCKS ON WINDOW

384
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,160
You lying, cheating prick!

385
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,960
<c.yellow>Mia-Louise! Mia-Louise!</c>

386
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,640
<c.yellow>Please, habibti, wait, wait.</c>
<c.yellow>Mia-Louise!</c>

387
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,960
<c.yellow>Wait, habibti,</c>
<c.yellow>please, please, please.</c>

388
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,960
<c.yellow>I'm not cheating on you, OK?</c>
<c.yellow>She's from another Libyan family,</c>

389
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,960
<c.yellow>and my mum and uncle</c>
<c.yellow>wanted me to meet her.</c>

390
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,960
But why? You're going out with me.

391
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,960
<c.yellow>They're scared I'm gonna lose</c>
<c.yellow>my culture and forget my heritage.</c>

392
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,960
That's why you didn't want
me coming round to your house,

393
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,640
they don't want you to be with me?

394
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,000
<c.yellow>I don't know</c>
<c.yellow>what I'm supposed to do.</c>

395
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,960
Just... Just talk to them.

396
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,480
Just tell them how you feel
about me.

397
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,960
<c.yellow>I've tried. I have tried.</c>

398
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,320
Do you like this girl?

399
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,960
<c.yellow>How could I like her,</c>
<c.yellow>when I'm in love with you?</c>

400
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,960
<c.yellow>But they're my family.</c>

401
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,960
<c.yellow>And they sacrificed so much</c>
<c.yellow>for me to be here.</c>

402
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960
<c.yellow>I'm... I'm sorry.</c>

403
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,960
<c.yellow>I... I can't.</c>

404
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,960
Are you sure this is the place?

405
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,480
<c.yellow>I know it was 17 years ago,</c>

406
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,960
<c.yellow>but maybe someone at The Farmer's</c>
<c.yellow>Arms will recognise her.</c>

407
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,480
What are yous doing here?

408
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,960
<c.cyan>Christopher text us, telling us</c>
<c.cyan>to come to The Farmer's Arms,</c>

409
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,960
<c.cyan>to ask around about Mr 997.</c>

410
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,960
<c.green>But as soon as we got here,</c>
<c.green>some bloke accused me</c>

411
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,960
<c.green>of being Trevor</c>
<c.green>that broke up his marriage.</c>

412
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,960
You what?
<c.green>Dead weird.</c>

413
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,000
<c.yellow>This other fella,</c>
<c.yellow>he's made me buy meat.</c>

414
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,960
<c.green>Oh, lad, that stinks.</c>
PHONE RINGS

415
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,960
<c.green>They're not approaching normal</c>
<c.green>people here. </c>One sec. Hiya, Mum.

416
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960
<c.yellow>He was in the cubicle next to me</c>
<c.yellow>and slid it under the door.</c>

417
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,960
<c.cyan>Look, you either find him</c>
<c.cyan>or you don't.</c>

418
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,960
<c.cyan>But we'll always have each other,</c>
<c.cyan>OK?</c>

419
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,960
<c.cyan>Now, I know you didn't like it when</c>
<c.cyan>Disneyland Darren serenaded you,</c>

420
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,960
<c.cyan>so I'm not gonna do that. I just...</c>

421
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,160
<c.cyan>I want you to know</c>
<c.cyan>you're so special, Reece.</c>

422
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,960
<c.cyan>Ignite that light.</c>

423
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:10,960
<c.cyan>Let it shine.</c>

424
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,960
<c.cyan>
HE CHUCKLES

425
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,960
<c.cyan>
What are you doing?

426
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,960
You're off your head, you know.

427
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,960
<c.cyan>
<c.cyan>Yes, kid!</c>

428
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,960
<c.cyan>
Mum, I've gotta go.

429
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,160
I'll text you later.
<c.cyan>All right, love you!</c>

430
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,320
You followed us here?

431
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,960
You are my dad, I knew it.
But why did you lie?

432
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,960
<c.green>I've got no idea</c>
<c.green>what you're chatting, lad,</c>

433
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,960
<c.green>but if yous keep staring,</c>
<c.green>the biggest one's getting chinned.</c>

434
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,960
<c.green>You with me? Eh?</c>
<c.yellow>'Ey, Martin didn't have a tattoo.</c>

435
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,160
<c.green>Ah, yous think I'm Martin.</c>
<c.green>No, no, I'm Alan, his twin.</c>

436
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,960
<c.green>But they call me Mr 997</c>
<c.green>cos I got the highest score</c>

437
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,960
<c.green>on the boxing machine in this place.</c>

438
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,640
<c.green>20 years,</c>
<c.green>and the record still stands. Oosh!</c>

439
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,960
BEEPING FANFARE

440
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,960
<c.green>These new iBoxer machines</c>
<c.green>don't count, lad. Proper jarg.</c>

441
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960
<c.green>Scoring 1,000 on them</c>
<c.green>is like scoring 600 in my day.</c>

442
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,960
<c.green>The game's gone, lad.</c>
<c.yellow>Do you remember a Jodie?</c>

443
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,320
<c.yellow>You met her at this pub, like,</c>
<c.yellow>17 years ago?</c>

444
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,960
<c.green>Jodie... Jodie...</c>

445
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,960
<c.green>Bloody hell, yeah.</c>

446
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,640
<c.green>Jodie! Fuck, that's a blast</c>
<c.green>from the past, that, lad.</c>

447
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,960
<c.yellow>This is Reece, Jodie's son.</c>
<c.green>Right.</c>

448
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,800
<c.yellow>We thought Martin was his dad,</c>
<c.yellow>but... you're his dad.</c>

449
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,000
<c.green>Are you having me on, fella?</c>

450
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,960
<c.green>You're my boy?</c>

451
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,960
<c.green>Let's get a look at you, then, 'ey!</c>

452
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
<c.green>'Ey!</c>
<c.green>Hey, you know what, I see it now.</c>

453
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,960
<c.green>You've got them boxers arms like me.</c>

454
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,960
<c.green>Let's test your jaw out,</c>
<c.green>see if you've got mine.</c>

455
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,960
Argh!
<c.green>Come here.</c>

456
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,320
<c.green>Bet you're glad that boring</c>
<c.green>soft shite weren't your dad, eh?</c>

457
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,960
<c.green>'Ey, got a proper schnozz on you</c>
<c.green>there, lad. That's not from me.</c>

458
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,000
<c.green>But if you've got a big dick,</c>
<c.green>that is.</c>

459
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,960
<c.green>Know what I mean?</c>

460
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,960
No.
<c.green>Hey, fellas, this is Reece, my son!</c>

461
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,000
<c.green>G'wed.</c>
CHEERING

462
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,960
<c.green>Go on, say something.</c>

463
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,960
<c.green>He's too happy.</c>
<c.green>Doesn't know what to say.</c>

464
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,960
<c.green>Soppy little blurt. Go on!</c>

465
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,480
REGULARS: <c.cyan>
<c.cyan>He's one of our own...

466
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,960
<c.yellow>Fuck.</c>

467
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,960
<c.cyan>

468
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,960
<c.cyan>
<c.cyan>He's one of our own</c>

469
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,960
<c.cyan>
<c.cyan>He's one of our own.

470
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,960
<c.green>

471
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,960
<c.green>
CALL CONNECTING

472
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,960
PHONE RINGING
<c.cyan>

473
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:37,960
<c.yellow>Sorry, something's come up.</c>

474
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,960
Are you at a party?

475
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,960
<c.green>
<c.green>He's one of our own!

476
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,800
Is that Mo? Are you with them lot?

477
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,960
<c.yellow>Yeah, but...</c>
'Mia-Louise was right about you.'

478
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,800
Why didn't you just tell me
you weren't interested, you snob?

479
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,960
CHEERING

480
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,960
APPLAUSE

481
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,960
<c.green>

482
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,960
You all right?

483
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:10,960
<c.yellow>Where's Christopher?</c>

484
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:12,960
Town.

485
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,960
<c.green>

486
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,960
Where's Ziad?
<c.yellow>Dunno.</c>

487
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,960
<c.green>

488
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,960
<c.yellow>Oh, my God, that's Mr Dunn!</c>

489
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,960
Holding the door open for her

490
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,960
cos you think
she's weak and incompetent, Sir?

491
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,960
<c.yellow>Is she allowed her own money, Sir?</c>

492
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,960
<c.cyan>"Let her out the cage for tonight,</c>
<c.cyan>did you, Sir?"</c>

493
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,960
<c.cyan>I did, yeah,</c>
<c.cyan>but she'll be back in by nine.</c>

494
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:43,960
MIA-LOUISE CHUCKLES

495
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,960
<c.cyan>See, we're outside school, so</c>
<c.cyan>I don't have to take this shit here.</c>

496
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,960
SHOCKED EXHALE
<c.cyan>Boom!</c>

497
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,960
THEY LAUGH

498
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,960
<c.yellow>Look, I should have listened to you,</c>
<c.yellow>looking out for me, girl,</c>

499
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,960
<c.yellow>instead of</c>
<c.yellow>just getting pissed off...</c>

500
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,960
<c.yellow>cos I was worried</c>
<c.yellow>what you were saying might be true.</c>

501
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,960
I would say the same. I should know
you've always got my back.

502
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,480
I don't think I'll ever meet anyone

503
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,000
who I'll have more of a laugh
with than you.

504
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,960
<c.yellow>Same here, girl.</c>

505
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,960
<c.yellow>We are gonna smash</c>
<c.yellow>the rest of this year.</c>

506
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:17,960
<c.yellow>Love you, girl.</c>

507
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,320
<c.cyan>

508
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,960
<c.cyan>

509
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,640
<c.cyan>

510
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,160
<c.green>Good one again! My son! Yeah!</c>

511
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,960
REECE SIGHS
<c.yellow>

512
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:38,160
<c.yellow>
<c.yellow>And I cannot forget</c>

513
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:43,000
<c.yellow>
<c.yellow>You still turn me on</c>

514
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,960
<c.yellow>

515
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,960
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com

516
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,960
<c.yellow>

517
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,000
<c.yellow>

518
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,960
<c.yellow>